Tuesday, March 13, 2012

God Knows Best

It has been a while since I blogged last. I have been fighting the itch to return to this world but I am succumbing to the urge tonight.  Mostly because I always enjoyed "designing" my page more than anything and was in the mood but now I am happy to write.  A lot has changed since I last wrote.  I got a new job.  I am working as a Child Welfare Specialist at DHS.  It is a very stressful, difficult job but I absolutely love it.  I am doing what I was created to do for this specific time.  I feel and know that in my bones, in my very core.  Sometimes I miss my communal days in YWAM where everything was rich and you could sense the presence of God everywhere you walked. And now I'm entering areas where His presence isn't so evident but I know that is the very reason why it is good.  God spent many years equipping and molding me for this very job and I had such a deep hunger for this specific position only I didn't realize that until my first few weeks there.  I always had this very exact image only I pictured myself in another culture, playing in an orphanage, doing mission work abroad.  But God knows best doesn't he? He has me here, ministering to family, ministering to strangers, ministering to orphans.  Here he has me.  I can tell on the weeks that I've busied myself and don't make time for him.  Man, do those hurt.  My soul literally aches and I'll wonder why this week is harder than last even though I'm dealing with the same things.  And then I remember.  I remember I need him.  My soul and my heart need him every minute in this job.  Which was exactly how full time ministry was.  I'm so thankful to be in a spot where that need is so obvious.  I am so thankful that I hunger for him even after only one day.  I am thankful that Jesus wired us to desperately require him to function wholly.  I am so thankful.  He is the most loving, perfect picture of love I could have ever dreamed of.  I am thankful he chose me. I am thankful, thankful, thankful.

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